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Darlene [Beverly]

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this is it. [02 May 2005|03:09am]
[ mood | pensive ]

i don't know. i guess the setback is that i'm going to come out of this relationship with a skeptical outlook on trust. i don't understand how i was fooled so easily and for so long. i really am smarter than this situation makes me look. from now on, trust will be earned instead of just given away. ok and you can say "i love you" 20 kajillion times and it will still mean nothing unless you have genuine feelings to back that up, and i guess neither of us did coz if he did, he wouldnta left, and if i did, i wouldnta let him leave. but.. oh well, what can you do. i'm moving forward with my life & i'm not taking you with me. goodbye.

2 somethings| say something

[05 Mar 2005|04:38pm]
my fridays always seem like saturdays, its so great. i only had one class then i took a 5 hr nap, & it felt DAMN good. then.. leila came over (and woke me up, otherwise i woulda slept longer) just to chiill and eat ramen & fruit snacks haha... then her, hyeji, krysti, and i just bummed around for a really long time. then the "asian girls" practiced our "talent show dance" lol and it exhausted me even though we didnt do all that much. ok today i woke up at 630 am [oh dear..] to do community service for the "great american cleanup" thing. picking up trash sucked like none other.. :/ GIVE A HOOT, DONT POLLUTE :)

i envy all of you off for spring break.
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foolish heart. [02 Mar 2005|09:37am]
[ mood | recumbent ]

i want to be with you, but not like this.

everything feels so different. was i not enough for you? i tried my best..

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pimpiiiin.. ;] [01 Mar 2005|12:28am]
[ mood | artistic ]

its NATIONAL TIE DAY!! no, not really ;] some of us just decided that it should be tie day today so we planned this last night; *applause* to us for following thru. we hadda borrow lots of ties and it took us forever to learn how to tie em! pretty sad.

but it was a fun day :)

ITS MARCH! hooray x] i looove this time of yr. bright colors, flowers, spring break, the beach, and moreeee... exciting stuff ;] i cant wait to get my ass home asap! countdown: 11 days.

byebye loves <33
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guess whooooo x] [24 Feb 2005|10:42pm]
[ mood | restless ]

oh dear, long time no post. how is everyone in mcallen? gooood, i hope :]. i'm coming home for spring break but my spring break doesnt correspond w/ mosta the ppl from home's spring break [mine starts on the 12th]. booo ='[. I MISS YOU ALL!!

geeez, a lot has happened since i last posted. shall i update? i think i shall. hehe.

note to those of you who dont know: i left mchi for tams [texas academy of math and science] and i've been here for 6 months now. tams is this program where you basically skip your last two yrs of highschool and take your freshman and soph years of college up at UNT (univ. of north tx.. its in the dallas area). in total, theres only 300some people (juniors and seniors in highschool) here and we all live in a dorm on campus. there are students here from all over tx and i'm probly the one that lives farthest away from home. but anyway, there are some FRICKENNNN hella smart ppl here so its really intimidating like WHOA. ok well on with my update..

for one thing, i do believe i shoulda stayed at mchi and kept my damn 4.0. but grades went WAY down here and i almost got kicked out for it coz ya need a 2.7 gpa to stay here and i had a 2.8. yiikes. college is so incredibly different from highschool tho. theres no busy work, theres just exruciating exam after exam and i think on average, i spend about 6 hours a day studying if not more. crazy stuff.

dorm life is.. okayy. living away from the parents has been going well and having your friends live next door or right down the hall is convenient. but i'd rather be home with my car :[ and driving to my friends' houses, i dunno why. i really miss driving everywhere. errr.. anyway, the really gay part about living here is all the rules. what a fricken PAIN IN THE ASS. there are so many rules to abide by here and its just effin' ridiculous. rules of pda (public display of affection... bullshit.), "quiet hours", no car your junior yr, visitation (since this is a co-ed dorm..), rough-housing, etc etc etc. so gay. one of the primary reasons why i don't like it here. but whatever.

i'll continue later, g2g. <3

13 somethings| say something

"owell." [09 Aug 2004|05:13pm]
[ mood | listless ]

I don't know what that was. i liked having a little mini-summer-romance, i loved the butterflies in my tummy. but i didn't love him. now its overrr, so lets just forget about it.

1 something| say something

how exciting :D [28 Jul 2004|02:25am]
[ mood | refreshed ]

i dunno what it is about him, but i fell pretty fast.. kinda. its just a crush.

guess who it is.. x]

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time for something random.. [22 Jul 2004|08:01pm]
[ mood | weird ]

ANYWHOO... someone pls tell me when mchi's registration day is... coz.. i'm going back to mchi and i'm not leaving to that nerdy college anymore.

muahahah jk. i'm still leaving. but i needa pay for my lost chem book so i gotta do that at registration. haha. g2g..

8 somethings| say something

happy 4th of july =) [04 Jul 2004|11:53pm]
[ mood | indifferent ]

wooo... good thing the people that live a couple blocks away from me were firing all these pretty fireworks in the air, coz otherwise i wouldnt have seen any. my family didnt do jack shiet for the 4th of july. soo i watched fireworks in my room from my window.. all on my lonesome. aww :(. but at least i saw some...

4 somethings| say something

nvm [27 Jun 2004|07:16pm]
[ mood | okay ]

yep, nvm :)

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home on a saturday night [26 Jun 2004|10:44pm]
[ mood | lonely ]

well well, this is quite intursting. saturday night and i'm just sitting here with a laptop and a triple chocolate utopia from dairy queen. GOSH THIS SATURDAY NIGHT IS SOO AWESOME [note the sarcasm.]

4 somethings| say something

happy [early] bday, joyce! [18 Jun 2004|11:48pm]
[ mood | sleepy ]

while i'm at it.. happy bday ralph [6/17], daryl [6/17], kuya zaldy [6/19?], krismarie [6/22], and mar [6/25] :)

jus got back frm joyce's luau party shindig watevr. haha. it was aite :). i got laid, but w/ a plain ol' white lei... *sighs* but its ok. man there were lotsa times when hartini and i got left loner! haha its ok hart, we kno we're cool & thats all that matters =P. i ddnt dance coz my mom was watching and i ddnt wanna embarass her nor myself... lol. i think right now everyones still swimming ovr there; i, however, went home kinna early coz i forgot my swimsuit. *pouts*. *sighs*. owell. i'm sleepy!

eeeekkks!! i still needa buy a father's day gift!

7 somethings| say something

:D [18 Jun 2004|01:24pm]
[ mood | ecstatic ]

this debit card is going to be my new best friend :D

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hellooooo =) [13 Jun 2004|07:50pm]
[ mood | chipper ]

aww hi livejournal, i'm back from my 1yr & 5month hiatus =)

i went to orientation for UNT on friday & saturday. it was pretty fun actually. mm hmm. ackkkk the campus is huge and confusing coz all the buildings look the same =(. and i have a bad sense of direction so that doesnt help either.

i duno if i'll survive there =( i mean like academically. that sh*t is gonna be HARD. the professors said we should spend 5-8 hrs a day studying. !!WTH!! its gonna b sooo different from highschool coz i only spent, at most, 1 hr studying for something. but.. sh*t! i have to maintain a 3.0 gpa or else i get kicked out and get demoted back to ghetto mchi. eeeekss.

anyway i met lotsa badass people! it makes me so excited to get outta here >_<.. *august 25*, say your goodbyes to me before then! =)

this journal is in dire need of a makeover.. i'll get around to it soon..

8 somethings| say something

wat's going on..? [07 Jan 2003|08:27pm]
[ mood | discontent ]

i've been feeling really distant with lots of my friends right now. i dunno why. it's like we never have anything to talk about anymore.. outta the millions of topics, we can't even find one. it's kinda sad when i'm just sitting there with my friend and there's just so much awkward silence. i just wanna walk away but i kno i'm not gonna. and then i try to make something to talk about by saying something or watever, and they just *nod and smile*. now really, how does that contribute anything to this conversation i'm attempting to have with you? i mean, most of the time when i nod and smile is when i don't really kno wat's going on/am not listening/don't really care. so when you do it to me, i kinda kno wat's up. or when i'd be like "soo.. what's new with you"... --"nothing". well wow, how did i kno you were gonna say that. haha i guess it's my fault for asking that question in the first place when i kno the response. dur. anyways.. this isn't directed towards anyone inparticular, because this has been happening with quite a few ppl. owell i guess. i don't wanna go into anymore detail, so i'll just quit here.

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This sucks...!! [02 Jan 2003|11:46am]
[ mood | numb ]

Ok I just came home from the dentist. :(.. they gave me that stuff that makes your mouth numb coz i had to get fillings and they said my mouth is still gonna be numb for another 3 hours!! wtf?!!! so I can't feel one side of my mouth. omg it sucks. like, i can't even spit straight.. i can only like spit through from side of my mouth. and like i can't even smile because the left half of my mouth won't move!!!!!! WTF!!!? i feel so.. handicapped :(. g2g byye.

3 somethings| say something

pssh.. [11 Dec 2002|05:16pm]
[ mood | blah ]

I said I was gonna update more often huh? yeah i lied. haha. i don't have tttiiiime to write in this thing.. that or i keep forgetting. hmm. i don't kno. anywayz.. this sux... semester exams. =| eesh. haha. fuuuck it. i'm gonna stay home for the class that i'm exempting coz i don't wanna sit there and watch ppl take tests..? yea. owell. aaanywayzz.. uhhm... i've been slacking lately.. more than ever, actually. i study for all my tests the pd before them, during lunch i do all my hw for classes after lunch, i start my major projects the day b4 its due even though its been assigned for like 3 weeks, and i dunno. i don't even kno how i'm surviving anymore... and all my grades are still good. haha who the fuck said procrastination doesnt work?! hmm. well i don't get enough sleep either.. i sleep at like 1am nowadayz. hmm. it's coz i hafta go to "dinnershow" choir rehearsals from 7-9 like every night and then i come home and start my hw and it takes forfuckinever!! eeeesh. aaaanyways.. i still need to write letters to ppl that moved away that i'm s'posed to be keeping in touch with but i don't have time to write with them so i feel kinda bad coz they write like 5 letters to me in a month n i havent even finished one. =|. haha that was a long sentence. well uhh i'm gonnna go now byebyez.

1 something| say something

Fight. . . big fight. . . [11 Nov 2002|10:39pm]
[ mood | enraged ]

me and my mom got in a fight yesterday.. i don't really feel like putting any detail into it right now coz it's not that necessary and also coz it's alot to type and well i'm just too god damn lazy. haha. but uhm, yesterday i went to the movies even though my mom said i couldn't go, i walked out on her. tsk tsk.. bad. owell. i haven't seen her the whole day today and she's working night shift so i won't be seeing her. and yeah. she wrote me a note (more like a letter) yesterday and taped it to my TV.. it was baaad. and mean too. but yeah. o-fuckin-well. anyways... dinner sho rehearsals were okay, i guess. kinda boring. haha. coz everyone in chorale knows each other and like all the freshman girls that made dinner sho don't like mesh just quite yet, you kno? coz we're "new" or whatever the fuck. but yeah. its all good. well... oh yeah, i got another screen name.. PNAICOLADA185. yeah. yeah ok bye.

3 somethings| say something

stuff.. whatever the fuck.. [01 Nov 2002|04:50pm]
[ mood | giddy ]

hm. yeah. another early bday present. this one is from my parents :). ok well i got a new cellphone and... its a nokia 3390.. i didnt really want that one coz like everyone and their mom has it, so it's kinda annoying. but what the hell coz it came free with the plan. i wanted this cute motorola one but it was $180 so my dad said no. owell. maybe next year. haha. oh yeah, don't call my old cellphone ever again. well its coz, like its temporarily suspended. what i mean by temporarily: ***-6368 isn't gonna be working until november 26 coz see, we have a contract with cellular one. its a one year contract. well, a year has passed, BUT in May, i got a new phone coz they switched my broken phone with a new one, and supposedly doing that is another year contract. what bullshit! ugh. so since my old # CANT be canceled until May 2003, my dad is gonna cancel his cell# and use my old one coz he isnt under a contract anymore. cellular one is such bullshit. but anyways, yeah... my dad is gonna have my old #, so please don't call it after november 26. i guess you could call it before that, but no one's gonna answer coz the # is temporarily canceled. yeah. anyways... halloween was fun last night! hahaha. i didn't dress up, but who cares, i got candy anyways :). we were trickortreating in the rain for like half an hour haha. yeah but owell. i didn't realize how many ppl i kno live in this neighborhood. weird. well gotta go.. i was gonna go to a football game, and i wanna go buuuut... i hafta clean my room. grr. ok well bye.

2 somethings| say something

early birthday present.. [28 Oct 2002|12:40am]
[ mood | chipper ]

yeps. i got a bday present a week early, from my brothers. this is like the first yr they get me something. lol. but i * love * em! they got me a CD burner.. on friday i was like "i need a CD burner.." and then next day, BAM! i get one. lol. i love my brothers. i think we get along better now coz i'm not with em all the time, so we don't have time to argue or anything when we're around each other.. or something like that..? anyways.. thanks guys :).

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